Realize
by Keitorin Asthore
Summary: Peter comes to terms with what his brother has gone through. Oneshot. COMPLETE.


Edmund's pale lips were parted; soft faint breaths escaped as little sighs. The bridge of his nose was still squinched up in his stressed expression, but his dark head tilted against his shoulder in the peaceful sleep of a child. Peter lightly traced the tip of his index finger against the bruises and scrapes on his young brother's cheek. Edmund didn't rouse. He was too exhausted to even come close to waking.

" 'A little tired,' he says," Peter murmured, the corner of his mouth tilted in a rueful smile. He had never seen Edmund sleep so deeply, not even in the ten years they'd shared a bedroom. His little brother had always been restless, tossing and turning and moaning and whimpering. More than once he had awoken in the middle of the night to the sounds of Edmund screaming and sobbing in the throes of a nightmare.

A sudden question struck Peter's brain. _Did Edmund have those same nightmares at school? _He had never known the extent to which the other boys teased his baby brother. He didn't even know it was going on until the night Edmund showed up for dinner with a black eye the size of London. He'd tried to coax the story out of him, but Edmund was tight-lipped. So he gave up.

Edmund moaned and rolled over in his hammock. His face was still screwed up in the tight, anxious expression that he had been trapped in since the day he was sent off to Sir Myles Cross Academy. Peter stroked a lock of dark brown hair away from Edmund's warm forehead. His hair felt heavy, thick and silky, against his fingers.

The tent flap pulled back slightly, sending in soft blond shafts of light onto the cool green grass. "Is he still sleeping?" Susan whispered.

Peter nodded. "Out like a light," he whispered back. Susan smiled to herself and sat down next to Peter. She bent over her baby brother, pressing her lips against his forehead. "Where's Lucy?" Peter asked.

"Leander took her out for some practice with her dagger," Susan said. She smoothed Edmund's hot cheek with her thumb. "Has he had…you know, his dreams?"

"Not yet," Peter said, "but I think he's getting into one."

"Oh, dear," Susan sighed. "Are you sure?"

She was answered by a high pitched little wail that scraped from the back of Edmund's throat. Susan's clear eyes became very gentle as she slipped her hand under the back of his slender neck and tilted his head against her shoulder. Peter watched as Susan murmured in their younger brother's ear, coaxing him into waking up without going into a full night terror.

"He's always listened to you," Peter mused.

Susan smiled as she snuggled Edmund in her arms. "He's just a different sort of boy than you," she said. She reached over and patted Peter's shoulder. "You've always been naturally good-natured. Our Ed, he needs to be coaxed into being relaxed enough to be happy."

The dark-haired boy twisted slightly in Susan's embrace, his long thick eyelashes parting slowly. "Hello, darling," she said softly. She kissed his pale freckled cheek.

Edmund, however, was not fully awake. His dark eyes stared up at Susan without seeing her, his expression dazed and frightened. "Majesty," he mumbled. Suddenly he jerked away from Susan, his small thin hands shaking and striking limply at her. "No, no, y'Majesty, don'…don' do't…"

Peter, startled, caught Susan's eyes. She looked just as shocked as he felt. Her arms tightened around the ten year old. "Ed, Ed, it's me, it's Susan," she said.

Edmund's eyes shot open; he took in his surroundings with a sudden burst of frightened clarity. He fell back in his sister's arms, chest heaving as he sucked in air. "Susan," he whispered, and he burst into tears, flinging his arms around her neck. "You're not stone, you're not stone!"

"Of course not," she said. "We're all safe, and you're safe."

Peter tentatively reached over and stroked his fingers against his brother's arm. Edmund's dark eyes rolled over to look at him, and Peter was relieved to see recognition there. "We're all here, Ed," he said.

Susan kissed the top of Edmund's ear. "You must be hungry," she said. "If you get up and get dressed, we can get you something to eat, all right?"

"All righ'," Edmund said, his voice still thick with sleep. His arms were still tight around Susan's neck; he hugged his sister and pressed a kiss on her cheek. Susan closed her eyes as she accepted the kiss, and Peter knew she was thinking of the past few days and nights of terror when he had been missing.

"Come on," Susan coaxed. She helped Edmund to his feet, bracing him as his thin knees trembled. "Peter, you'll stay and help him?"

"'Course," Peter said. Susan let go of Edmund. He wavered on his little bird legs, lashes brushing against his cheeks as he tried to stay awake. Susan sent Peter a sharp look and a slight nod of the head towards their brother as she caught up the skirts of her gown and left the tent.

Peter reached over and gripped Edmund's bony little elbows. "They brought some clothes in for you," he said. "And there's a bowl of water and some soap so you can wash up." Edmund nodded. "You awake, Ed?" Another nod. Peter smiled. He tugged at the hem of his little brother's sweater. "Come on, Ed. Let's get you changed so you can go eat."

It was plain to see that Edmund had dropped weight. Stabs of some emotion- pity? guilt?- shot through Peter as he helped Edmund out of his worn-out clothes and into the comfortable Narnian clothes. Bruises stood out like black splotches on his chest and back; red lines crisscrossed the backs of his knees. The Witch had had no mercy on him, child though he was.

Edmund caught his brother staring at his wounds. "It doesn't hurt so much anymore," he said.

"It looks like it still hurts," Peter said. "I can get you something to help heal them if-"

"I'm fine," Edmund said quietly. He was finally more awake and alert, looking at his surroundings with interest. "Nice place we've got here."

Peter tied the lacing on the back of Edmund's tunic. "Well, you know how it is, the best for us kings," he smiled. He patted his brother's shoulder. "Ready for lunch?"

Edmund's face lit up, and he finally looked like the ten-year-old he was as he beamed. "I've been ready since yesterday!" he said cheerfully.

The girls were sitting at a small low table set with all sorts of food. Their faces brightened with smiles as the boys approached. "Come on, Ed," Lucy laughed, patting the cushion beside her. Edmund plunked down beside her and grabbed a large bunch of juicy red grapes. Susan quietly heaped food onto two plates, handing one to each brother. Peter sat down beside her.

"She starved him," Susan whispered as they watched Edmund devour the food.

Peter leaned over and placed three more slices of buttered toast on Edmund's plate. "He's thin, Su," he said. "Too thin."

Lucy pulled a face, and Edmund laughed happily. Susan smiled. "We have him back now, Peter," she said. "We can fix all that."

Peter stood up and walked over a little ways away. He could sense Susan's eyes on him, but there were too many thoughts running through his mind. Yes, they had Edmund back. And as he watched his little sister giggle and his long-lost brother smile and his sister watch over them like a mother hen, he realized that he couldn't afford to let any of them go.

Edmund stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth. Lucy giggled. "Narnia's not going to run out of toast, Ed," she said. Edmund shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm sure they'll pack some up for the journey home," Peter said quietly.

All three heads snapped around to stare at him. "We're going home?" Susan stammered.

"You are," Peter said. Brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes. All three pairs of stared at him, wide and surprised. Peter turned his head away. "I promised I'd keep you three safe. But that doesn't mean I can't stay and help."

Edmund stared down at his hands. Lucy's jaw dropped. "But they need us!" she protested. "All four of us!"

"Lucy, it's too dangerous," Peter said. "You almost drowned. Edmund was almost killed!"

He could tell that Lucy wasn't happy. Her feathery eyebrows knitted together in a half confused, half disgruntled expression. Susan seemed mildly relieved. He knew she would be. Susan hated confrontation, hated arguments. She liked peace and quiet. _She'll talk Lucy into it, _Peter thought. _They'll go along with it._

But he wasn't expecting his brother.

Edmund looked up through his lashes, his dark eyes solemn. "Which is why…we have to stay," he said quietly.

Peter stared. Edmund's eyes were distant now, staring at some faraway point that no one else could ever imagine. "I've seen what the Witch can do," he said. "And…I've helped her do it." He looked up at them. "And we can't leave them here to suffer for it."

Lucy reached over and took hold of his hand. Peter wished he could have.

"Well, I guess that's it, then," Susan said, standing up and shaking the wrinkles out of her dress.

Peter blinked as Susan picked up her bow and quiver full of arrows. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Susan smiled. "To get in some practice," she said.

"Oh, Susan, wait for me!" Lucy said, leaping up. "I'll fetch my dagger! Susan, Su, wait for me!"

Peter looked over at Edmund. He was staring at his plate, pushing grapes around with a piece of toast. Peter cleared his throat. "Say, Ed, how about we go out and have a bit of practice ourselves?" he suggested. "Just the two of us."

Edmund smiled at him. "Sure," he said.

Peter held out his hand.

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**Author's Notes:**

Almost forgot about this one!

Just a bit of drabbleness from Peter's point of you. Eventually I have to do something Lucy related; poor girl's quite neglected in my Narnia stories!

I tossed out a reference to my original novel in here. If you can find it, I'll write a Narnia oneshot on the topic of your choosing!


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